One of the early ways I was hurt in church was that I offered to play violin as part of the worship team in my small charismatic church and got the polite brush-off. When I was at The Moody Church (wow, I just saw their new homepage in getting the link – very cool!) I noticed they would use an orchestra a few times a year so I asked again. It took a while but eventually I got ‘on the list’ and got asked to be part of the orchestra. It was mostly not musicians from the church: mostly they were paid freelancers and so I also got offered money to play. I didn’t want or need it. I just wanted to be part of the orchestra, to participate in the music at my own church. That orchestra list also turned out to be the orchestra for Moody Bible Institute’s annual performance of Handel’s Messiah which I loved being part of.
Calvary actually formed a small orchestra while I was there and I enjoyed being part of that. Once I was asked to play during communion and that felt very special, to be in communion with the whole church (unless I’m remembering wrong, I played in all three services then).
Anyway I don’t really know what’s happening to me at the moment. Since 2001ish I was an atheist but now I’m not. For twenty years it hurt too much to read the Bible or listen to worship music. Now I can do that again. Also I had no ability to believe in God during those years. Now I believe but not as before. There are no strings attached yet I am held tight in The Love that is who He/She/They are.
Throughout Genesis 1 the word for God is plural: “Gods”. Genesis 1:27 literally says something like:
So the Gods created human beings in their own likeness.
They created them to be like themself.
They created them as male and female.
Fwiw I believe that, were that being written today, the last line would say “all genders were created by them”.
Anyway now I can listen to worship music again I’m going back to my favourites, one of which is What Wondrous Love Is This (traditional hymn) played by Ferdinand Ortega. The middle instrumental part reminds me of playing during communion (although it’s cello and piano, not violin and piano). I like the middle verse “To God and to the Lamb I will sing…” This youtube recording is to a whole album but it should start at ‘What Wondrous Love”.