I’ve found that lists of symptoms can be helpful to me in assessing how my mental state is. Self assessment can be tricky since one of the symptoms of mania is impaired judgment and another one is overconfidence. (“You’re worried that I’m becoming manic again? What on earth are you talking about? I’m absolutely fine! There’s nothing to worry about!”)
Although manic symptoms can interfere with self-assessment I still recommend doing it, along with taking listening carefully when people who know me and care about me express concerns that I’m becoming symptomatic again. It’s important for me to take what they say seriously because they truly do know what to look out for.
It’s frustrating and at times feels humiliating having the people closest to me watching me like a hawk in case I’m developing symptoms. It hurts that if I get excited about something they may start to worry that I’m getting manic again. If they panic then I’m likely to panic too and that makes my symptoms worse! I know they mean well and want to help and it really does help. But at the same time it feels so patronizing and humiliating. I hate that it has to be this way.
I believe that paying attention to my own mental state and listening to those closest to me when they have concerns will give me the best chance of noticing as early as possible if I might be getting ill. And I believe ther earlier I become aware I’m on a possibly problematic trajectory, the more chance I have of being able to calm myself and turn things around without needing a professional intervention.
Regarding specific tests/checklists: I found this self-assessment quiz on Psych Central today. I trust Psych Central as a resource but haven’t used this particular test myself. I’m sure there are lists of symptoms and checklists all over the Internet these days.
Actually since I wrote the above, someone sent me a link to Crest.BD which has self-support tools if you scroll down a bit. I looked over some of their stuff. Some of it looked helpful. I found the ‘cognitive’ page a bit depressing but I suppose if the bottom line is, be aware that your cognition will suffer in extreme mood states, that is something I agree with.
My own checklist, which I’ve used for years, came from my second counselor James Quandt. In addition to me generally chatting, he would ask me the same set of questions each session to assess my mental state. After a while I’d learnt all of the questions and they helped me know what danger signs to look out for. Here’s the list, as best I remember it:
- How’s your sleep? That was an obvious one to check since lack of sleep is both a trigger and a symptom.
- How are you doing at keeping up with household chores? The answer to that was always “Not well!” Even if I wasn’t ill! But I knew what he was getting at: he wanted to know, how was my time management? Was I in control of my behavior enough to prioritize well and take care of my usual tasks and responsibilities? Was I too distracted by some manic grandiose scheme to be getting my normal tasks done?
- How much time have you been on the computer? Similar to the question above. A bit annoying because often I had legitimate reasons to use the computer. Like planning family holidays. However, I was free to say whatever I wanted about why I was using it, in order to explain if I felt I had a non-manic justification for it.
- Have you had any conflict in relationships? Emotional volatility and lack of impulse control are symptoms of mania. It’s harder not to overreact and easier to get into conflict with people than usual if I’m symptomatic
- Have you been engaging in black-and-white thinking? This is also a symptom of mania. It was good to check for it.
I appreciated James’ consistency in going through the list with me. That did help me learn it, internalize it and start going through it for myself. I looked forward to having the right answers to his checklist questions when I saw him. And even when I wasn’t sure I had good answers, I liked him and trusted him enough to be honest. I would have probably have gone to see him recently for a wellness check had I not moved too far away. I’m sure seeing him again would have been fun and a lot more enjoyable and cheaper than my recent wellness check with a local psychiatrist!
I shared James’ list with my husband recently. Earlier this week my husband said to me “You should ask yourself ‘WWJT’?” I was very confused because that sounded like a variation on “WWJD – What Would Jesus Do?” But my husband is an atheist. Anyway he explained “‘WWJT – what would James do? In other words, what would his checklist indicate?” LOL
If you live near Oak Park, Illinois and are looking for a counselor I highly recommend James Quandt. James if you ever read this, thank you for the checklist and for helping me manage my illness!