Today I begin posting twice a month on the Communitas Collective blog. This is a copy of my first post there.
When I began to question my Christian beliefs, one of my biggest fears was: “How can a person be happy without God?”
Interacting with happy atheists on the Internet reassured me. Their enjoyment of life proved it must be possible.
I can’t count on God loving me or directing my life anymore, or eternal happiness after this life. But I can appreciate the kindness of others, beautiful scenery and everything that is going well. They are as wonderful as ever though I no longer think of them as gifts from God.
Two years ago a new level of uncertainty came into my life. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, a condition with no cure. Doctors try to control the symptoms with medication but in my case the medications haven’t been very effective.
My counselor attempted to give me hope with “Maybe this medication will work.” I tried to explain “I can’t go there any more than I can hope in a God I don’t know exists. What works for me is accepting the reality that my future health is uncertain, then choosing not to worry about it.” Worry implicitly assumes a bad outcome and is as unrealistic as counting on a good one.
I remember reading “Don’t worry” back in my Bible studying days. That’s ok. Outsiders are allowed to incorporate any good advice they run across, even if it’s attributed to Jesus!